نمی‌دیدمت ولی بودی

Salam Hannah jan,

It is good to hear from you. I thought you had forgotten me. I enjoy getting messages from you. You are my only friend who actually lives in Iran. I know other Iranians, but they live outside of Iran. I know what you mean about the Sufis. Apparently, when one gets to a certain stage (maqam) in the journey, one see's Allah everywhere. I'm no at that point either. So I like to see beautiful things and hear beautiful music. I try to avoid that which is ugly in the world.

I looked up Max Richter's Sleep. There is an abridged version of that work. I'm listening to it right now. It is very good and relaxing. I have only heard "On the Nature of Daylight" by him before. Some of his music is very melancholy.

How was Ashura this year for you? How do feel at this time?

Last month, I did have a dream about you. I did not see you, but you where there. But then I realized you were gone. Somehow I felt like you where never coming back. So I cried in my dream. It was enough to wake me. I was troubled for a while after that. I did not worry though, because I knew I would hear from you soon.

Your happiness is very important to me. If I had Aladdin's lamp, I would wish that your happiness was secured.

All the best, Arthur, Oct 21, Vandergrift

Salam Arthur jan,

I am sorry for my belated reply. I spent part of summer in a region there was not internet and cell phone coverage, but lots of silence. Usually people find me peaceful. I cannot say usually, but lots of time, I find deep knots inside. In these situations, mostly, all I need is silence and loneliness. Sounds of wind, birds and animals and waves of sea would be okay, but other sounds disturb me.

I started to work on my thesis while beside my questions in regard of methodology, I had a personal problem, that grew more as I went ahead. It's not easy to explain but somehow it was like I couldn't find any relationship between my life and Sufis' and it made me feel bad to read or write about them. As I understood them, they, all, found nothing but beauty in the universe, whereas I had been encountered, mostly, bitterness and ugliness in the world..

However, the nature and being alone helped me again to feel better and finally it's about three days that I started again work on my thesis. I want to work on it, despite all problems and concerns I have.

In my journey, beside some music that I usually listen, mostly "Sleep" of Max Richter accompanied me. It is an eight-hour album that has been called "a personal lullaby for a frenetic world" by the composer. I find it very very lovely and wonderful and I recommend it strongly in case you didn't have the chance to listen to it yet.

How are you and how is everything with you?

Bests, Hannah, Oct 03, Tehran